Comments on: Community manager as babysitter, referee and therapist

By: Angela Connor

Angela Connor — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:31:31 +0000

Hi there Tricia: It sounds like you had some serious burnout and you know, I am beginning to wonder if there is a point when you've been doing it too long and need to move on to something else. I would love to talk to you further about the downward spiral and what you think you might have done differently at that point. I can definitely see how you can check out mentally especially when things don't seem to be getting better despite your hard work and best efforts. I'm sorry that you had to shut it down.

By: Tricia Smith

Tricia Smith — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:23:24 +0000

I totally understand! My husband and I managed an online community for almost 8 years. I found at the end that I became a babysitter and it no longer was fun. I have since left our community and in fact we have shut it down . It saddens me to have lost such an important part of our lives but in the end it was too much energy to waste on issues that had little importance in my day to day life . Looking back I can see the downward spiral that occurred as we slowly stopped putting our energy into it and then stopped managing it. That was it’s death. Managing a community is exactly what you described. You are in fact a babysitter and also a therapist at times. I can recall incidents where someone was suicidal, had a death , lost a job, etc.

By: Angela Connor

Angela Connor — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:15:52 +0000

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Rosemary. LOL @ the flask of something strong. You're right. I cannot control their behavior. It's just a shame that it can get so stressful.

By: Angela Connor

Angela Connor — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:13:55 +0000

Mr. Woc: I too have learned that the sharing, caring way cannot be used across the board. Sorry you got burned but I can absolutely see how that could happen. I need to tap into my more unsympathetic side in regard to this kind of thing. Believe it or not, I started the week with even more of it. Go figure, right?

By: Angela Connor

Angela Connor — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:09:48 +0000

Thanks Sue John: I agree with you that the consequences should be their own. I don't quite understand what it is they think we should do when they in fact, shared the info willingly.

By: Rosemary O'Neill

Rosemary O'Neill — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:25:36 +0000

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! I often think that one of the job requirements in a listing for community manager should be “rhino skin” (followed perhaps by a flask of something strong). It’s admirable that you care deeply enough to be emotionally upset by those behaviors; that’s actually an asset, if you can survive. When one of our community managers is feeling this way, we usually try to change perspective—step back, breathe deeply, and be at peace knowing that you can’t control anyone’s behavior but your own. Hang in there!

By: links for 2009-10-12 | Don't mind Rick

links for 2009-10-12 | Don't mind Rick — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:05:21 +0000

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By: Mr Woc

Mr Woc — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:05:07 +0000

Hi there

Your post made me laugh, a laugh of recongnition !

I think there is something called community burnout lol, I feel it from time to time, at times I feel there is no one normal with any common sense using my sites.

I usually have a good rant about it too, I find it usually helps lol.

Seriously though people can be childish and take the communties far too seriously, we dont get involved in their childish arguments anymore (We have been burned before while tryign to help people in the past, its seriously not worth the hassle) I just read them the riot act, say if you continue you can go elsewhere.

Also if someone is stupid enough to give them personal details, I inform them this was a pretty supid thing to do, and let them know they could have learned an important lesson.

It might sound a pertty unsympathetic standpoint, but seriously I have tryed the caring sharing way, the empathising way and every other way of dealin with it and have found this is the best way for our site to tackle it.

Woc

By: Recommended Links for October 12th | Alex Gamela - Digital Media & Journalism

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 08:27:16 +0000

[...] Community manager as babysitter, referee and therapist [...]

By: DofC

DofC — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:13:36 +0000

I’m sorry – it had me logged in under my private (non-community management) blog. I am Talia Klein, currently director of community at Sparkeo.com (though the comment isn’t related to my current job).